PAUSE
Friends
DRAPER’S PAPER ROUTE
PAUSE
by Adam Carroll Draper
The vitriol in our public discourse has become dangerous. I don’t know why this strikes me now in particular. Maybe it is because, as bad as it has been this week, I realized that it isn’t any different than normal. Pick a subject. From immigration to global warming to transgender, former males in women’s sports, there does not seem to be a way to offer an opinion without creating a heated argument, full of venomous name calling. I have friends who do not speak to each other any more over political disagreements.
There are moments in life when you have to pause, take a deep breath and utter a Slim Pickens, “What in the wide, wide world of sports is agoin’ on here?” This is one of those times for me.
Those who know me can certainly attest that I have instigated many a heated discussion. I have bruised far too many feelings at this point in my life. Frankly, I admit having had fun stirring up indignation from those I felt deserving. I repent. Seriously!
Some of you may have just fallen out of your chairs or said, “Who is that masked man?” Be nice! Don’t mistake me, I remain a dutiful proponent of a healthy ribbing, but I draw the line at losing friends. And I think that is what we need to do as a country – no, the whole world needs to take a deep breath and calm the (expletive deleted) down! We can remain adamant in our opinions while realizing that being happy is more important than being right, and friends are more important than philosophies.
I have caught myself several times recently building up to a rant. Each time, I paused for a moment and made myself consider the hearts of the people talking to me. Each time, love refused to allow me to utter what was on the verge of coming out of my mouth. I said what I had to say, just differently.
This is starting to sound preachy, which I am assiduously trying to avoid, but civility has become important to me. Incivility is becoming dangerous. In fact, it has always been dangerous, which is why history urges us to employ ancient gestures of comity. There is something to the golden rule. I mean, Jesus said it and all.
Each time I paused recently and thought about the people who I was about to set straight, their circumstances came to mind. Who they were and what was going on in their lives made me stop and care more about them than trying to influence their opinions. What’s up with that anyway?
This is what’s going on in my life. Stef and I are trying to finish remodeling our house so we can sell it. This has been going on for a while (a good…. LONG… while). Stef is “done.” We are fried. The house is not remotely ready. Meanwhile, back at the office, Larry and I are trying to automate – another project I have been in the midst of for years longer than I thought I could endure. Stef’s old, reliable friend, her 2000 BMW 323i with nearly 250 thousand miles, needs to be taken out back… well, it may not be worth the cost of fixing everything that needs to be fixed. I attempted to work on it (quit laughing), and I damn near fried it’s wiring. Fortunately, last week a friend made a simple diagnosis and fixed it – until the passenger side window decided to choose now to come off track. WTF?
In those recent situations when I have found the pause to keep from spewing bile on my friends, it was because I loved them and remembered the crap they were going through, too. OK, that is preachy and I am about to shut up, except to say that the inclination toward civility has been growing in me for a long time. I totally believe that this is the Lord’s doing.
Now for the ultimate in preachy drivel: “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.”
If you got something out of this missive, please give it a thumbs up (or some such thing), comment on it, and/or share it. It helps. I really appreciate that you took the time to read this!